Kepada Allah Tempat Sebaik Baik Yang Dituju

Have you ever thought that once your loved one no matter your family members or your gf nor bf passed away, gone forever that you are not gonna see him or her anymore, so how long you have to wait until? to hold them, to say i love you, how much you miss em, to hug em and say Ya Allah lama betul tak jumpa, rindu sangat, or even to smile at them. hmm. They're gone. We can't touch em or greet em, ANYMORE!

It hurts and scared me a lot when it came across, it comes frequently. how long and how many alam should I and my family go thru in order to see Abang Mie again. They said once we dibangkitkan semula dekat Padang Masyhar, we won't remember about our family, just our dosa & pahala yg akan dihisab. It hurts me more. So we won't see you again? Grant us Jannah amin.

What will happen with Kak Yani? Muaz, Tasnim, Adnin, Ify? Aku tahu biarlah jadi rahsia Allah tapi aku bermohon makbulkan lah doa Abg Mie supaya Muaz jadi maulana besar nanti, amin 

Ya Allah, Kau Maha Besar, Maha Agung, Maha Kaya!

My hearts so heavy.

So 2016 is final year for Abg Mie. So he left us the same age when abah left us. No more Ramadhan, no more Syawal for you. No more complete family picture, family day & family members. What sadden me more, we never know, first Raya was the last day we can tatap wajah manis Abg Mie, senyuman dia. Mata dia. Last day we saw tapak kaki dia yang walking sendiri step down lantai rumah, rumah kita, dari kecil dari jadi anak yatim until now everyone is grown up and even 'tua' now. Bunyi batuk dia. Suara dia. Even aku sempat gosok baju dia it wont make me less rindu because I never said i love him or thank him, for taking a very good care of adik adik since abah meninggal. As we lost our father 22 years back. We bond even tight. He's my second father. And he won't balik rumah kita lagi, ever. Nak tengok selipar dia, nak bau minyak atar dia dekat rumah, no. Dah tak ada kesempatan tu. Ya Allah I've learn that we should appreciate orang yang kita sayang because we all hanya pinjaman. Allah will take back what is His. 

Everyone's missing you Abg Mie,, sedih. Kak Long, Abg Lan, Abg Ije, Abg Wadie, Abg Gg, Kakak, Kak Elly & Adik, semua berdoa jumpa Abg Mie, even dalam mimpi pun cukup lah. Ya Allah kami rindu sangat! Mak. She never show us how lost she felt but she's proud mother and keep on saying she it is like Abg Mie never stop watching her with Abg Mie's sweet lil smile.

Abang Mie's teached us about Islam. Tabgligh karkun taklim and other words that really make changes to us especially Abg GG. You can never imagine how happy he was like he's in heaven already when he successfully guide Abg GG to follow Rasul's sunnah. He succeed to ajak others orang kampung to join him keluar 3 hari, 4 bulan etc. I am so proud to call him Dai'e; ala waznin ''faa'ilun'' yakni penyeru/pengajak dari segi perbuatan dipanggil "da'wah''

I know, I am bad, but deep down in my heart i really do wanna prove him that im trying, slowly to be what am i supposed to be. A good muslim woman. I am working on it. But people seemingly didn't help. So I pushed them away, its okay. I am WORKING ON IT. Don't judge me. Allah knows! 

If Abg Mie knows what I am doing here, crying descriminising. He's gonna tegur me 'buat apa nak menangis dekat orang yang dah tak ada, baik sedekah al-fatihah', i did. But you're not here. This how I express feeling. I know people won't get me. It is okay. This is my way. 

I know he won't read it. But I wanna tell you that I Love You, Abg Mie.
Terima kasih sebab keluar kan orang dari asrama sebab orang taknak jauh dgn mak :( it was the best thing happened in my life, haha funny right but it is true!

Ya Allah aku rindu! So much. I pray that all the doas and tahlils accepted. I know he's in good place now.

Allah loves him

After kerja kerja dan rezeki didunia dia spent ke jalan Allah and amalan he did, and meninggalkan anak anak yang soleh solehah inshaaAllah, finally Allah said, you can rest now Mohd Hamdan bin Jemilah.  

"wahai jiwa yang tenang, kembalilah kepada Penguasamu dengan kepuasan dan keredhaan, kekal abadi bersama jemaah di Jannah'', (al-Fajr:89)

Al-Fatihah