my dreams

Everybody's keep on asking, what do you wanna be? in your life? and it's stressing me because i don't have goals.  I would just wake up one day and say, “Aha! I know what I want to do for the rest of my life!” But in the morning no, it never came. I love living the flow and I am not like anyone else. Stop asking! Stop judging and please please stop comparing!

There's more likely the reason why I don't want the world to 'see' me because I dont think that they would understand. It was one of the reasons why I deny you, man. I love you I always have since I don't know, 2010. Meeting you again and being with you was totally mesmerizing and I don't think I deserve that happiness, I am overwhelmed, I expected things from you and feel scared at the same time bcs I am different. We're different, you are too perfect and I felt left behind. Come on man, how can you call yourself loser? I mean you're amazing! Please please discover yourself actually i knew you know who you are. And I am so proud of you, you are my favorite man, ever. You're talented, cool, sweet, annoying and pretty. I love your hair, your mouth, your brown eyes, your skinny legs, your vain, your smile, your voice, your jokes, your patient, your selfishness, your ego. Almost everything i never had love someone so much. If you read this. You can pick anyone you want, and I am so envy for any lady you choose, bcs she happen to see what I loves everyday. Don't worry I won't cry, i'll be happy for you :) -finger cross-

My brother, everything's happened and I blame myself believing in you will keep me warm. I just wanted you to comfort me when I called you late that night, here I go again, expecting. It is not your fault, it's me. I am not thinking straight, you are just tired, I knw it I am sad and i thought nothing's more important than that, I know you can't bring back my brother but hm and I end up mad and hating you. I am sorry I am insane.

Oh i am not gonna talk about this anws, so 

I don't aim for a big house, I only dream it sometimes. It gave me happiness, yes, with dreaming. Imagining. You know? The feel is real. 

I don't want to confuse anyone here but this is me, I wanted more but not necessarily in the material sense of personal wealth and success. I wanted more out of life. I wanted a passion, a conceptual dream that wouldn’t let me sleep out of pure excitement. I wanted to spring out of bed in the morning, rain or shine, and have that energy for life that seemed so natural belonging in early childhood.

Oh yes! Currently I aiming for a financial freedom and being totally FREEDOM! 

and of course I got plan, I am not going to tell ya until I wanna talk bout it :D (macam lah ada orang nak tahu) HAHA